Wrathful Penetration

posted March 29th, 2014, 11:00 am


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view Lugbzurg's profile

March 29th, 2014, 2:28 pm

Lugbzurg

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How the heck are ponies supposed to beat THAT!?

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October 23rd, 2017, 7:21 pm

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view GabrielsThoughts's profile

March 29th, 2014, 1:28 pm

GabrielsThoughts

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@Lugbzurg:

I'm no expert on the body language of ponies or birds, but it occurs to me, exposition is a poor way of showing Rainbow-Dash's exhaustion in this case.

Maybe it would be better to show Flutter-Shy and Rarity's panel on the opening of the next page and throw in an extra panel of RD with a dramatic slide followed by a grunt. And, while we're on the subject of grunting and sound effects in general, perhaps the monster saying "Nahrm?" in the second panel and a bowling pin strike sound like "boink!" or "swack!" in the fourth panel would improve the crowning moment of awesome...

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view Kurona's profile

March 29th, 2014, 1:50 pm

Kurona

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When suddenly this is an anime

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view GabrielsThoughts's profile

March 29th, 2014, 2:05 pm

GabrielsThoughts

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@Kurona:
I always have, and always will, imagine comics as a shorthand form of an event that moves in time. It became animated the minute it was adapted from a cartoon and edited in one's imagination.

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view Lugbzurg's profile

March 29th, 2014, 2:28 pm

Lugbzurg

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@Kurona: Well, it's had a lot of manga touches for quite some time.

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view GabrielsThoughts's profile

March 29th, 2014, 6:13 pm

GabrielsThoughts

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@Lugbzurg:

You're being rather generous. Manga has pages with three to eighteen panels. I don't understand why your layout appears so rushed.

I would have preferred an economy of pacing during the Flufflepuff saga, where the action sequence was more or less repetitive and draining. Here, you've nixed any anticipation for the next page.

Granted, I'm a slow updater myself and posses one third, if not a quarter, of your readership. But, considering how bad my comic is reputed to be and how lacking in observation I can be because I'm always learning to compensate for ADHD, among a host of other social problems I face (among which being treated like vapor is the least of my worries), don't you think it would be wiser to heed caution.

I already know you've only recently regained the ability to read facial expressions, and genuine motives, with some measure of accuracy (20% if statistics are to be believed) since you're on the verge of drinking age. Making comics is a good exercise in learning things that are necessary for growth as well as profit.

I like to believe you're mature enough to learn from the experience of others and take notice when they shine a spotlight on you.

I'm being brutally honest when I tell you the pacing of your comic does not complement your story. And, hopefully you won't read more into that statement than was intended. As an action sequence I would argue that it approaches number 2 status.

I know you want to cover a lot of ground as quickly as possible. But an extra panel or two couldn't hurt.

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view GabrielsThoughts's profile

March 30th, 2014, 11:57 pm

GabrielsThoughts

Day late and a dollar short?

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@Lugbzurg:

Would you like me to come up with a more visual explanation of what I'm suggesting?

If you push panel five into the panel six slot, and chose to show something similar to the gif in the following link...

http://www.iambrony.com/gif/s/4659?page=8

Thus transforming panel five into a different screen capture whilst in the process of making the shot of Fluttershy and Rarity first panel on the next page. You might have some idea of what I'm saying.

I believe the suggested composition would make the story flow better. I've only suggested this because it makes the events clearer for your other readers. It has no effect on whether or not the events are clearly understood on my part.

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view Lugbzurg's profile

March 31st, 2014, 11:38 am

Lugbzurg

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@GabrielsThoughts: I needed a graphic of Rainbow Dash simply crouching or down low in some way and that was all I could seem to find. When I've gotten to my hand-drawn comics, I shouldn't have this problem ever again!

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view GabrielsThoughts's profile

March 31st, 2014, 1:23 pm

GabrielsThoughts

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@Lugbzurg:

I want to thank you for your patience, and I realize that you were focused on other difficulties at the time of this page's conception.

After all, it is a screen capture comic, you have limited resources available for the time being, and you have a regular schedule to keep.

I look forward to seeing your hand drawn comics. While arguably not as pretty as cut and paste or sprite comics, there isn't an artist alive that doesn't use reference photos and an artist's early work is almost always regarded as foul.

Usually, you want to make it different enough to maintain a unique perspective while paying homage to the source of inspiration. Then again, I haven't exactly found audience appeal with my hand drawn comics in the past. Lacking in detail as they were, I still admire the work that I did, I still believe the final product looks exceptional.

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view Lugbzurg's profile

April 3rd, 2014, 12:36 am

Lugbzurg

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Did I ever tell you guys how awesome RoboCop is?

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view GabrielsThoughts's profile

April 3rd, 2014, 6:14 pm

GabrielsThoughts

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@Lugbzurg:

Which one? There are dozens. There were two mini series that ran on the scify network... four movies, not including the remake, and at least three cartoon series. I'm pretty sure there was a comic book at some point.

The early 2000's version bombed though, and the 90's live action miniseries was for kids.

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view Lugbzurg's profile

April 3rd, 2014, 8:19 pm

Lugbzurg

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@GabrielsThoughts: I just watched the original 1987 film... two nights in a row.

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view GabrielsThoughts's profile

April 4th, 2014, 2:17 am

GabrielsThoughts

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@Lugbzurg:

Now, that was a good movie. Picture quality, and dated technology notwithstanding, I think they did a good job making an almost flawless classic. It was a very compelling alternate universe. Not to mention I genuinely believed the actor in the suit was a machine and not just a man wearing body armor.

I'm willing to bet the story holds up better in 60 years than most films.

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view Jarkes's profile

April 5th, 2014, 10:54 am

Jarkes

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@Lugbzurg: Was it the director's cut? Because that one had even more over-the-top violence...

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view Lugbzurg's profile

April 5th, 2014, 11:58 am

Lugbzurg

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@Jarkes: I... don't think it said anything about that.

Aww, man... I want my violence fix...!

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view Jarkes's profile

April 5th, 2014, 1:14 pm

Jarkes

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@Lugbzurg: Get the 20th anniversary DVD. It has the Director's Cut on there as an option (you can also choose the theatrical cut).

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view Lugbzurg's profile

April 5th, 2014, 1:34 pm

Lugbzurg

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@Jarkes: I just got it from Netlix is all. They sent in a 2001 copy. No 2007 director's cut.

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